"I Feel Ashamed . . . I'm Sorry"
A Letter From A Family Member

To Carol Sieverling

The April 1, 1998 Star Telegram article about our group was emailed to various members of my family, including my cousin and her husband Tim. My family has always been concerned and supportive, which made the following letter even more startling and meaningful to me. I sat in front of the computer and wept as I read Tim's email to me.

Background: Tim has worked for years as a director/producer/writer/special effects person on various videos, commercials and some movies. When Tim got the new article, he contacted his friend Kurt, who has a fledgling production company here in Dallas. Kurt had previously told Tim that he would soon be ready to produce a public service announcement (PSA), and would Tim come down from Nebraska to write and direct? All the labor for the PSA would be donated, though the PSA would be no means be free. All Kurt needed was a cause. Tim sent Kurt the article about our group and suggested CFIDS as the topic for the PSA. Kurt liked the idea. Tim asked me for some materials so he could start researching CFIDS and I deluged him with information. This is the email I got in response. I reprint it here with his permission and at the request of several group members who heard it read at our May, 1998 meeting.

Carol, I just have to write. I really feel somewhat ashamed. I have poured through this stuff you sent, visited a lot of web sites and started communicating with several PWCs (persons with CFIDS) on the net. I never really knew till now how sick you are and have been. I'm more than a little self-centeredly dense, but it never soaked in till now how you have suffered. I am sorry that I haven't been much more concerned over the years. I am sorry that I haven't lifted you up in prayer very much. I am sorry for our casual attitude and that we thought that you would eventually just sleep it all off. God willing, I can maybe help there. I'm seeing possibilities. CFIDS is certainly a disease that needs some public relations work.
Tim

This is the response that education and awareness can bring about. This is what so many need to hear from family members, friends, co-workers, employers, doctors, insurers and disability review boards! This is why education and advocacy are so important. The PSA is in progress. Tim and Kurt are working with the CFIDS Association of America on this project. Tim has written a great initial script, and the Association is excited about it. As the project progresses we may be issuing casting calls!! Look for more information soon.

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